Zagreb was the perfect counterpoint to the hard travelling in India, the streets were clean, the grass was green, cows were on plates rather than streets, water could be taken from the tap (don't dare tell Dirk if you believe otherwise), there was little bureaucracy (though, reputedly, no shortage of corruption), little sign of the war torn past and, to top of it all off, no one seemed to do anything other than sit smoking in the cafes watching the disproportionate number of beautiful, well dressed women and cute waitresses (on one of whom the immortal line:`you must get lonely workıng here ....´ was unsurprısıngly unsuccesful - despıte being delıvered by the guy with the self professed `movıe star appeal´)
Louise and Theresa's arrival was timed impeccably - just as Matt was beginning to express his need for a little of of that human touch bit too physically (to his travel partners - not the beautiful, well dressed women and cute waitresses ... strange). It was a cue for Matt to end his cigarathon, Marty to groom and get back in his box, and us all to enjoy a few relaxing days in Zagreb awaiting the wedding of Helios and the yet to be sighted Ana.
Before a wedding could be sanctioned Harry had a bucks night to endure ... and Ben and Matt had scores to settle. Harry, the sly bastard, had allocated a dead Thursday night, post family dinner, time slot and although his slurs of "just one bar???" punctured the night while we searched for an open club, I knew there was a wry smile behind his gimp mask. A local barman said we were stupid for not holing up in a small room with a crate of whiskey and some strippers - I could barely imagine what that would be like without adding a top hat and bad karaoke to the mix.
Fortunately the bucks night was no indication of the wedding to come - Ana turned up stunning and Prince's Sexy M.F. pounded in her ears as she walked down the isle to the ever radiant Harry. The Unitarian circle of power was created with appeals to the Guardians of the watchtowers of the North, South, East and West (all of whom, as it so happened, were present) allowing the ceremony to take place. Ana decided against running off with the far more dapper groomsmen, Harry and Ana were wed, and the circle was released to the audible sigh of relief of the crowd.
Fortunately the bucks night was no indication of the wedding to come - Ana turned up stunning and Prince's Sexy M.F. pounded in her ears as she walked down the isle to the ever radiant Harry. The Unitarian circle of power was created with appeals to the Guardians of the watchtowers of the North, South, East and West (all of whom, as it so happened, were present) allowing the ceremony to take place. Ana decided against running off with the far more dapper groomsmen, Harry and Ana were wed, and the circle was released to the audible sigh of relief of the crowd.
The ensuing reception revealed such previously unknown delights as homemade Croatian spirits, Grant's sense of humour, Sam's predilection for the Chinese, Nick's tenacity, A clown, Harry's nick name and Croatian dancing in a setting generally agreed to be the most beautiful we had experienced.
Marty rounded out proceedings deftly swapping sentiment and subtlety for humour in a great best mans speech (although slightly baffling the interpreter, and consequently the Croatian contingent in the process) and the celebrations continued into the Zagreb clubs until 3am when Ana declared it time to consume the groom (apparently a hangover from the days of Tito).
Marty rounded out proceedings deftly swapping sentiment and subtlety for humour in a great best mans speech (although slightly baffling the interpreter, and consequently the Croatian contingent in the process) and the celebrations continued into the Zagreb clubs until 3am when Ana declared it time to consume the groom (apparently a hangover from the days of Tito).
2 comments:
Nice work Chrissy, just a few comments/ suggestions:
- Helios? A classical reference? Wow. You continue to impress and challenge your readers.
- A couple of notable omissions - no reference to the lamest pick up line employed in the history of Australian tourists trying to engage local waitresses: 'You must get lonely working here...' and no allusion to you joking about getting hit by a tram and then almost getting hit by a tram due to looking the wrong way. Still having trouble distinguishing between left and right...
- Finally, it wouldn't have been 'Sexy MF' running through your head right? I recall (and there's documented evidence) you being a more 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World' kind of guy?
Nıce to hear from a long time reader, first time commenter Matt ...
Helios: writing from Grece i thought i better pretend to know something of their mythology
It was remıss of me to mıss out that classıc pıck up lıne - ı have ammended the postıng for posterıty.
My recollectıon of the tram and 'the most beautiful girl in the word' incidents is kinda hazy so may be best to leave out any reference.
I can, however, remember a bemused guide retorting with "what is the volume of your heeeed" when asked a similarly inane question regarding the volume of another container.
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